{"title":"Pens","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe Carbon Crusader offers pens with a variety of ready to buy slogans, and personalized options. These make excellent gifts or tokens to hang on to when you need an amusing pick-me-up. With a few different colors and ink options, you can create a pen that you'll love writing with for years to come!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"what-would-blair-waldorf-do-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"What Would Blair Waldorf Do? (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eAluminium pen\/stylus with the quote \"What Would Blair Waldorf Do?\" printed on it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eIt's a pen. It's a stylus. It's 100% fabulous. Perfect for your to-do lists, errands for your minions, and drawing mustaches on photos of your enemies.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40610897887431,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/FBC8223F-4066-49DC-BA0A-256FC7691F59.png?v=1713390633"},{"product_id":"what-fresh-hell-is-this-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"What Fresh Hell Is This? (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eHave you ever had one of those days where everyone wants a piece of your time, mind, energy, and concern? Have you attempted to check a \u003cem\u003esingle\u003c\/em\u003e thing off your to do list, only to be interrupted every two seconds by some new intrusion? If so, this pen is for you. Sometimes there is much to disdain in a single day.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe following pen has been personalized with the phrase\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: arial black,avant garde; font-size: medium;\"\u003eWHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eTwist open\/closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus end means cleaner screens!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClip allows you to wear this pen as a fancy accessory\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eLet your pens speak so you don't have to... shop The Carbon Crusader!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"black","offer_id":43664967925959,"sku":"","price":7.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"orange","offer_id":43664969171143,"sku":"","price":7.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/1429224C-6F2C-47CA-BAFC-6410D0F2E67C.png?v=1704941920"},{"product_id":"write-now-edit-later-personalized-pen-in-orange-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"write now, edit later personalized pen (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eSometimes, the most important thing to do is get the words out and on paper. There is always time to polish and refine your work, but you'll get so much more done if you plug along and put the words on paper!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eThis pen is personalized with the following phrase:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eWrite now, edit later\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003ePen measures 6”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eTwist open and closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003ePersonalized in USA\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus makes it easy to use on tablets and phone screens\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eCustom listings available\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eKeep yourself inspired! Shop The Carbon Crusader for your writing tools!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40610982691015,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/F1F02BDE-40D1-46B6-AD42-C585B9EF1DF6.jpg?v=1705357379"},{"product_id":"books-i-want-to-read-hot-pink-pen-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"Spells and hexes (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan size=\"3\" style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003egreetings, witches! \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan size=\"3\" style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe following pen has been created to support you in crafting the perfect spell. It’s also simply funny for frightening off people who take life way too seriously and think everything is a cursed object!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe following pen reads: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: arial black,avant garde; font-size: medium;\"\u003eSPELLS \u0026amp; HEXES\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eclick open\/closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus end means cleaner screens!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClip allows you to wear this pen as a fancy accessory\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003e Remember your grimoire! Create your spells with pens by The Carbon Crusader!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40610987278535,"sku":"pen-biwtr-pnk1","price":7.13,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/5735D451-B046-4B4B-BDE9-B00A8FF69CF6.png?v=1720128555"},{"product_id":"be-audit-you-can-be-black-pen-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"BE AUDIT YOU CAN BE  black pen (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eGet those numbers in line with our BE AUDIT YOU CAN BE black pen! Perfect for taking notes and making puns that'll have your coworkers cracking up (but not necessarily your boss).\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe following pen reads: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: arial black,avant garde; font-size: medium;\"\u003eBE AUDIT YOU CAN BE\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eTwist open\/closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus end means cleaner screens!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClip allows you to wear this pen as a fancy accessory\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eAccountants need pens too... by The Carbon Crusader!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"orange","offer_id":43682611364039,"sku":"pen-baycb-1","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"black","offer_id":43682611396807,"sku":"pen-baycb-2","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"pink","offer_id":43682611429575,"sku":"pen-baycb-3","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"blue","offer_id":43682611462343,"sku":"pen-baycb-4","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/782D112D-5153-41D1-8E5D-266024B34892.jpg?v=1706051714"},{"product_id":"fuck-the-dumb-shit-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"FUCK THE DUMB SHIT (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThere's only so much time in a day and so many fucks to give. The world is loud and full of pointless distractions, but with this pen, you can cut through the bullshit and focus on what really matters. Write down your priorities each day and cross them off as you go. If it's not on your list, don't bother giving a fuck. It's a simple but effective solution. Give it a try!\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe following pen reads: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: arial black,avant garde; font-size: medium;\"\u003eFUCK THE DUMB SHIT\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eTwist open\/closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus end means cleaner screens!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClip allows you to wear this pen as a fancy accessory--and let people know where you stand.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eNo more boring pens! Use products by The Carbon Crusader!\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"red","offer_id":44565728755911,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"black","offer_id":44565728788679,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"purple","offer_id":44565728821447,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"violet","offer_id":44565728854215,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"orange","offer_id":44565728886983,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"navy","offer_id":44565728919751,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/86743680-5208-4DDD-823F-C01B8D412AE7.png?v=1706060797"},{"product_id":"im-here-for-the-drama-pen-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"I'M HERE FOR THE DRAMA pen (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThere are people who want a tepid existence, safety and boredom. There are others who are here for something a little less predictable and a bit more tempestuous. This pen is for the theatrical variety. It's been said ice water runs in my veins, so I need dramatic people to keep things interesting. If that's you, enjoy this pen and also: thank you for keeping things amusing. There's always a seat at my table for your theatrics.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe following pen reads: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: arial black,avant garde; font-size: medium;\"\u003eI'M HERE FOR THE DRAMA\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eTwist open\/closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus end means cleaner screens!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClip allows you to wear this pen as a fancy accessory--and let people know how you feel about theatrics.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eLet people know why you came here! Use  products by The Carbon Crusader!\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40611048521927,"sku":"","price":8.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/products\/im_here_for_the_drama_hot_pink_close_the_carbon_crusader__36682.1532999210.1280.1280.jpg?v=1628038643"},{"product_id":"i-like-tea-books-like-5-people-pen-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"I LIKE TEA, BOOKS, \u0026 LIKE 5 PEOPLE pen (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003ea funny quote for your favorite tea loving, book reading people persons. Also suitable for your resident introvert!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eTwist open\/closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus end means cleaner screens!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClip allows you to wear this pen as a fancy accessory--and let people know how you feel without speaking!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eBasic pens are boring! Use  products by The Carbon Crusader!\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"black","offer_id":43670309732551,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"pink","offer_id":43670309765319,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"orange","offer_id":43670309798087,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"blue","offer_id":43670309830855,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/3FE5B186-02ED-4F9A-A2A9-4C4D13DBD92D.jpg?v=1705786848"},{"product_id":"fueled-by-coffee-sarcasm-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"FUELED BY COFFEE \u0026 SARCASM (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eA coffee and sarcasm enthusiast's must-have! Share some witty banter over coffee with this stylus pen.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe following pen reads: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: arial black,avant garde; font-size: medium;\"\u003eFUELED BY COFFEE \u0026amp; SARCASM\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eTwist open\/closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus end means cleaner screens!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClip allows you to wear this pen as a fancy accessory--and let people know where you stand.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eStay amused! Use products by The Carbon Crusader!\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40611059564743,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/631FE98C-FF8B-4E4C-B34D-8CF0F871DFDC.png?v=1711474714"},{"product_id":"today-i-choose-violence-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"TODAY I CHOOSE VIOLENCE (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe energy of 2024 if ever there was one.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe following pen reads:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eTODAY I CHOOSE VIOLENCE\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClick open\/closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus end means cleaner screens!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClip allows you to wear this pen as a fancy accessory--and let people know where you stand.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eStay amused! Use products by The Carbon Crusader!\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40611067527367,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/3FD82116-B5AA-4A43-BD73-B09D931D3F32.jpg?v=1706060904"},{"product_id":"though-she-be-but-little-she-is-fierce-hot-pink-pen-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"though she be but little she is fierce hot pink pen (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eFor your favorite pint sized powerhouse! \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe following pen reads: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan face=\"arial black, avant garde\" size=\"3\" style=\"font-family: 'arial black', 'avant garde'; font-size: medium;\"\u003eno she be but little, she is fierce\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eTwist open\/closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus end means cleaner screens!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClip allows you to wear this pen as a fancy accessory\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003e Remember your goals! Make your lists with pens by The Carbon Crusader!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"pink","offer_id":44549324734663,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"purple","offer_id":44549324767431,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"violet","offer_id":44549324800199,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"red","offer_id":44549324832967,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"orange","offer_id":44549324865735,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"black","offer_id":44549324898503,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/EC8EF07E-000C-489D-BCD7-55003E22DDFC.png?v=1725552565"},{"product_id":"copy-of-though-she-be-but-little-she-is-fierce-hot-pink-pen-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"a fierce persistent believer pen set of 3 (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003eAn awesome gift for the determined, unstoppable, fierce woman in your life!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe following pens say: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: 'arial black', 'avant garde'; font-size: medium;\" size=\"3\" face=\"arial black, avant garde\"\u003ethough she be but little, she is fierce\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: 'arial black', 'avant garde'; font-size: medium;\" size=\"3\" face=\"arial black, avant garde\"\u003enevertheless she persisted\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: 'arial black', 'avant garde'; font-size: medium;\" size=\"3\" face=\"arial black, avant garde\"\u003eshe believed she could so she did\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eTwist open\/closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus end means cleaner screens!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClip allows you to wear this pen as a fancy accessory\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003e Remember your goals! Make your lists with pens by The Carbon Crusader!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"as shown","offer_id":44547075997895,"sku":"","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"red","offer_id":44547076030663,"sku":"","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"violet","offer_id":44547076063431,"sku":"","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"pink","offer_id":44547076096199,"sku":"","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"purple","offer_id":44547076128967,"sku":"","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"black","offer_id":44547076161735,"sku":"","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"navy","offer_id":44547076194503,"sku":"","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"orange","offer_id":44547076227271,"sku":"","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/9DE430DC-7D19-442E-9F96-357E261438A1.png?v=1725398216"},{"product_id":"fueled-by-coffee-sarcasm-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus-1","title":"fueled by coffee \u0026 sarcasm (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan size=\"3\" style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eWhen you’re brilliant and it causes you to uplevel your life, with a but of assistance from the bean water  \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe following pen reads: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: arial black,avant garde; font-size: medium;\"\u003eFUELED BY COFFEE \u0026amp; GENIUS\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eTwist open\/closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus end means cleaner screens!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClip allows you to wear this pen as a fancy accessory--who needs a tie? Pens say \"I am smart AND fashionable\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eCelebrate your brillance. Use products by The Carbon Crusader!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"red","offer_id":46647937269959,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"black","offer_id":46647937302727,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"orange","offer_id":46647937335495,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"pink","offer_id":46647937368263,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"purple","offer_id":46647937401031,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"violet","offer_id":46647937433799,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"green","offer_id":46647937466567,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"blue","offer_id":46647937499335,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/IMG-6655.png?v=1705349189"},{"product_id":"i-will-eat-your-heart-for-breakfast-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"I will eat your soul for breakfast (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan size=\"3\" style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eit’s all fun and games until someone comes at you with some player bs and doesn’t realize that you are about to show them how the game is played  \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe following pen reads: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: arial black,avant garde; font-size: medium;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eI WILL EAT YOUR SOUL FOR BREAKFAST  \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eTwist open\/closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus end means cleaner screens!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClip allows you to wear this pen as a fancy accessory--and let people know where you stand.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eStay amused! Use products by The Carbon Crusader!\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42072493949127,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/553F900E-3164-41EB-8371-47984EF37D01.jpg?v=1705357125"},{"product_id":"fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck-pen-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck pen (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor those moments when everything just goes to sh*t...\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe following pen reads: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: arial black,avant garde; font-size: medium;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eTwist open\/closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus end means cleaner screens!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClip allows you to wear this pen as a fancy accessory--and let people know where you stand.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eNo more boring pens! Use products by The Carbon Crusader!\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"black","offer_id":44565760049351,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"purple","offer_id":44565760082119,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"violet","offer_id":44565760114887,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"blue","offer_id":44565760147655,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"red","offer_id":44565760180423,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"pink","offer_id":44565760213191,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/IMG-6287.png?v=1704857237"},{"product_id":"i-hate-all-of-you-black-pen-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"i hate all of you  black pen (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFor those in search of comic relief to endure a toxic work environment with unpleasant colleagues, the I hate all of you black pen with a smart phone stylus is the perfect companion. Best of all, when you finally leave, you can simply leave this pen behind and send a subtle message to your former coworkers.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe following pen reads: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: arial black,avant garde; font-size: medium;\"\u003eI HATE ALL OF YOU\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eTwist open\/closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus end means cleaner screens!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClip allows you to wear this pen as a fancy accessory\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eAccountants need pens too... by The Carbon Crusader!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"black","offer_id":44574848811207,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"purple","offer_id":44574848843975,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"violet","offer_id":44574848876743,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"red","offer_id":44574848909511,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"orange","offer_id":44574848942279,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"blue","offer_id":44574848975047,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"pink","offer_id":44574849007815,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/IMG-6658.png?v=1705349316"},{"product_id":"rip-the-last-fuck-i-gave-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"RIP THE LAST FUCK I GAVE (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThere are only so many hours in the day and so many fucks to give.\u003c\/span\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe following pen reads: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: arial black,avant garde; font-size: medium;\"\u003eRIP THE LAST FUCK I GAVE\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eTwist open\/closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus end means cleaner screens!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClip allows you to wear this pen as a fancy accessory--and let people know where you stand.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eNo more boring pens! Use products by The Carbon Crusader!\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"red","offer_id":46647934877895,"sku":null,"price":7.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"black","offer_id":46647934910663,"sku":null,"price":7.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"blue","offer_id":46647934943431,"sku":null,"price":7.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"pink","offer_id":46647934976199,"sku":null,"price":7.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"purple","offer_id":46647935008967,"sku":null,"price":7.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"green","offer_id":46647935041735,"sku":null,"price":7.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"orange","offer_id":46647935074503,"sku":null,"price":7.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"violet","offer_id":46647935107271,"sku":null,"price":7.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/83F712CE-87C0-4F5B-984F-86DC00F36A38.heic?v=1704942012"},{"product_id":"that-s-an-immediate-no-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"that’s an immediate no (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003eEver had the immediate visceral response of not a chance in hell? This is for you  \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe following pen reads: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: arial black,avant garde; font-size: medium;\"\u003eTHAT’S AN IMMEDIATE NO\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eTwist open\/closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus end means cleaner screens!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClip allows you to wear this pen as a fancy accessory--and let people know where you stand.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eNo more boring pens! Use products by The Carbon Crusader!\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42228565508295,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/01F37091-899E-4A5C-9F3C-9B449D7C48DD.png?v=1705355052"},{"product_id":"youre-like-really-pretty-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus-1","title":"You're Like Really Pretty (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eYou're Like Really Pretty\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eIt's a pen. It's a stylus. It's 100% fabulous. Perfect for your to-do lists, errands for your minions, and drawing mustaches on photos of your enemies.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43642093502663,"sku":null,"price":7.77,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/60AFFE74-6286-44EE-930F-EA7E4A843E54.png?v=1704942136"},{"product_id":"what-would-elizabeth-bennet-do-pen-with-smart-phone-stylusa","title":"What would Elizabeth Bennet do? (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\" style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eit’s important to have people to look up to, and some of my favorite heroes and heroines have been literary.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\" style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003e This aluminum pen has been engraved with the following: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\" style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003ewhat would Elizabeth Bennett do?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\" style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eA thoughtful gift for your favorite literary friend.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43644288106695,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/IMG-6449.png?v=1705026468"},{"product_id":"cpa-pen-set-of-3-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"CPA pen set of 3 (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\" mce-data-marked=\"1\"\u003eA thoughtful gift for your favorite CPA or tax professional!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe following pens say:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBE AUDIT YOU CAN BE\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDID YOU DOCUMENT IT?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIT’S ACCRUAL WORLD\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eclick open\/closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus end means cleaner screens!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClip allows you to wear this pen as a fancy accessory\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003e Remember your goals! Make your lists with pens by The Carbon Crusader!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"all black","offer_id":44564547076295,"sku":"","price":18.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"all red","offer_id":44564547109063,"sku":"","price":18.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"all blue","offer_id":44564547141831,"sku":"","price":18.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"all pink","offer_id":44564547174599,"sku":"","price":18.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"all purple","offer_id":44564547207367,"sku":"","price":18.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"all violet","offer_id":44564547240135,"sku":"","price":18.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"all orange","offer_id":44564547272903,"sku":"","price":18.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"black red blue","offer_id":44564547305671,"sku":"","price":18.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"pink violet purple","offer_id":44564547338439,"sku":"","price":18.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"other mix (see notes to seller)","offer_id":44564547371207,"sku":"","price":18.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/D759581A-BA35-423C-8013-E32884E0CF89.png?v=1706580252"},{"product_id":"chaos-coordinator-pen-with-smart-phone-stylusn","title":"CHAOS COORDINATOR (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003eEver encountered someone who can effortlessly transform chaos into order? Perhaps a coworker or admin pro who can still make things happen, even when everything's in disarray? This pen was made for them!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe following pen reads:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eCHAOS COORDINATOR\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClick open\/closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus end means cleaner screens!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClip allows you to wear this pen as a fancy accessory--and let people know where you stand.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eStay amused! Use products by The Carbon Crusader!\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43711582634183,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/IMG-7295.jpg?v=1706661365"},{"product_id":"copy-write-smut-sin-pen-with-smart-phone-stylusn","title":"WRITE SMUT \u0026 SIN (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003efinally a perfect gift for your favorite writer friend. This could be someone who writes erotic fiction or who is writing their racy memoirs…\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe following pen reads:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eWRITE SMUT \u0026amp; SIN \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClick open\/closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus end means cleaner screens!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClip allows you to wear this pen as a fancy accessory--and let people know where you stand.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eStay amused! Use products by The Carbon Crusader!\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43713641447623,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/ACA6291F-3B38-4B1A-B1CB-4A9D52B3122A_41533e7c-d988-4133-83f1-2904bb5e145e.png?v=1706727825"},{"product_id":"liv-laugh-litigate-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"live, laugh, litigate,(Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan size=\"3\" style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe perfect gift to remind your lawyer friends of the things that are the most important in their lives \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe following pen reads: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan face=\"arial black, avant garde\" size=\"3\" style=\"font-family: 'arial black', 'avant garde'; font-size: medium;\"\u003eLive, laugh, litigate\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eTwist open\/closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus end means cleaner screens!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClip allows you to wear this pen as a fancy accessory--and let people know where you stand.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eStay amused! Use products by The Carbon Crusader!\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"pink","offer_id":43958234251463,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"black","offer_id":43958234284231,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"blue","offer_id":43958234316999,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"orange","offer_id":43958234349767,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/5C436E49-6944-4949-9368-FD8EC3F0A367.png?v=1712272495"},{"product_id":"do-it-for-the-plot-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"do it for the plot (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor those of us who don't take ourselves too seriously, there are two main reasons for doing anything: character development and plot advancement. Because let's be real, life can get pretty dull without a little excitement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe following pen reads:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan face=\"arial black, avant garde\" size=\"3\" style=\"font-family: 'arial black', 'avant garde'; font-size: medium;\"\u003eDo it for the plot\u003c\/span\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eTwist open\/closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus end means cleaner screens!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClip allows you to wear this pen as a fancy accessory--and let people know where you stand.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eStay amused! Use products by The Carbon Crusader!\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43958233858247,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/62727526-1110-446A-8EC7-3BA95BB1190F.jpg?v=1712351988"},{"product_id":"born-to-argue-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"born to argue (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan size=\"3\" style=\"font-size: medium;\" mce-data-marked=\"1\"\u003eFor the designated debater in your life, who's always armed with a quick comeback... (wordcount: 4-700)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe following pen reads: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan face=\"arial black, avant garde\" size=\"3\" style=\"font-family: 'arial black', 'avant garde'; font-size: medium;\"\u003eBORN TO ARGUE\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eclick open\/closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus end means cleaner screens!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClip allows you to wear this pen as a fancy accessory--and let people know where you stand.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eStay amused! Use products by The Carbon Crusader!\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"pink","offer_id":43995936293063,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"black","offer_id":43995936325831,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"blue","offer_id":43995936358599,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"orange","offer_id":43995936391367,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"purple","offer_id":44564546355399,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"violet","offer_id":44564546388167,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/12C96CF7-0307-420A-B174-184EAE3166AD.png?v=1712773869"},{"product_id":"copy-write-fast-edit-slow-personalized-pen-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"write fast, edit slow personalized pen (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003ethe most important thing is get the words out and on paper. Polishing and refining your work comes later  \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eThis pen is personalized with the following phrase:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eWrite fast, edit slow\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003ePen measures 6”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eTwist open and closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003ePersonalized in USA\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus makes it easy to use on tablets and phone screens\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eCustom listings available\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eKeep yourself inspired! Shop The Carbon Crusader for your writing tools!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"orange","offer_id":43995941830855,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"black","offer_id":43995941863623,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"blue","offer_id":43995941896391,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"pink","offer_id":43995941929159,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/4D7CC798-624D-472C-AA18-E00F32EFA2E8.png?v=1712774130"},{"product_id":"copy-born-to-argue-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"Not today satan (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan size=\"3\" style=\"font-size: medium;\" mce-data-marked=\"1\"\u003eFor the friend or family member, who Was born, ready to defend their perspective…\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe following pen reads: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan face=\"arial black, avant garde\" size=\"3\" style=\"font-family: 'arial black', 'avant garde'; font-size: medium;\"\u003eBORN TO ARGUE\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eclick open\/closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus end means cleaner screens!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClip allows you to wear this pen as a fancy accessory--and let people know where you stand.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eStay amused! Use products by The Carbon Crusader!\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"pink","offer_id":44064132235463,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"black","offer_id":44064132268231,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"blue","offer_id":44064132300999,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"orange","offer_id":44064132333767,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/F7C82D1A-1CA7-42A5-9F54-595334DA9CFE.png?v=1713319120"},{"product_id":"this-is-the-pen-of-a-writer-bella-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"this is the pen of a writer, Bella (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan size=\"3\" style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eWhat the hell are you Writing  Loca?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe following pen reads\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eThis is the pen of a writer, Bella\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eclick open\/closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus end means cleaner screens!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClip allows you to wear this pen as a fancy accessory--and let people know where you stand.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eStay amused! Use products by The Carbon Crusader!\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"pink","offer_id":44086968058055,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"black","offer_id":44086968090823,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"blue","offer_id":44086968123591,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"orange","offer_id":44086968156359,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"red","offer_id":44574852579527,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"purple","offer_id":44574852612295,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/7B86672E-C8DB-4745-87A5-603B638B6450.png?v=1713481706"},{"product_id":"i-everything-you-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"I everything you (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003e Sometimes saying I love you is not enough. You don’t just love this person, you adore them, you worship them, you would protect them, you want to give them everything, Because they are \u003c\/span\u003eyour everything.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe following pen reads:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI EVERYTHING YOU \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eclick open\/closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus end means cleaner screens!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClip allows you to wear this pen as a fancy accessory--and let people know where you stand.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eStay amused! Use products by The Carbon Crusader!\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"pink","offer_id":44169610461383,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"black","offer_id":44169610494151,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"blue","offer_id":44169610526919,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"orange","offer_id":44169610559687,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"purple","offer_id":44169615769799,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/F8EB636F-9272-4F25-8CFB-369ACA19AE63.png?v=1714845105"},{"product_id":"have-you-tried-dying-mad-about-it-pen-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"Have you tried dying mad about it? pen (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAre you familiar with the frustration of dealing with an extremely obnoxious and difficult person? Have you found them constantly trying to make your life more difficult? This pen could serve as a gift to express your true feelings towards their constant complaining.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan face=\"arial black, avant garde\" size=\"3\" style=\"font-family: 'arial black', 'avant garde'; font-size: medium;\"\u003ehave you tried dying mad about it?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eTwist open\/closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus end means cleaner screens!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClip allows you to wear this pen as a fancy accessory\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003efunny people need pens too... by The Carbon Crusader!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"orange","offer_id":44550142492871,"sku":"pen-baycb-1","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"black","offer_id":44550142525639,"sku":"pen-baycb-2","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"pink","offer_id":44550142558407,"sku":"pen-baycb-3","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"blue","offer_id":44550142591175,"sku":"pen-baycb-4","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/F7D0BA30-72A0-435F-9881-7D4D2E671B9A.png?v=1725563387"},{"product_id":"what-would-derek-do-pen-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus-1","title":"What Would Derek Do? pen (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eInspired by a crafty jackdaw with a grudge, unafraid to express his feelings.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan face=\"arial black, avant garde\" size=\"3\" style=\"font-family: 'arial black', 'avant garde'; font-size: medium;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan face=\"arial black, avant garde\" size=\"3\" style=\"font-family: 'arial black', 'avant garde'; font-size: medium;\"\u003ethis pen says:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan face=\"arial black, avant garde\" size=\"3\" style=\"font-family: 'arial black', 'avant garde'; font-size: medium;\"\u003eWhat would Derek do?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eclick open\/closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus end means cleaner screens!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClip allows you to wear this pen as a fancy accessory\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003efunny people need pens too... by The Carbon Crusader!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"orange","offer_id":44559741059271,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"black","offer_id":44559741092039,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"pink","offer_id":44559741124807,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"blue","offer_id":44559741157575,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"red","offer_id":44559754887367,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"purple","offer_id":44559754920135,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"violet","offer_id":44559754952903,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/9471DF09-32E6-403C-B60B-11E63F1E72F4.png?v=1726008974"},{"product_id":"jesus-tips-20-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"Jesus Tips 20% (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan size=\"3\" style=\"font-size: medium;\" mce-data-marked=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBoost gratuities with this Jesus Tips 20% pen and stylus combo - your serving sidekick!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003eThe following pen reads: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan face=\"arial black, avant garde\" size=\"3\" style=\"font-family: 'arial black', 'avant garde'; font-size: medium;\"\u003eJESUS TIPS 20%\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eclick open\/closed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eStylus end means cleaner screens!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eBlack ink inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003eClip allows you to wear this pen as a fancy accessory--and let people know where you stand.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003eEmbrace humor with The Carbon Crusader's products!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"pink","offer_id":44604669296839,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"black","offer_id":44604669329607,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"blue","offer_id":44604669362375,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"orange","offer_id":44604669395143,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"red","offer_id":44604674834631,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"purple","offer_id":44604674867399,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"violet","offer_id":44604674900167,"sku":"","price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/210735D0-C14A-4A32-86AB-A64296ED797F.png?v=1727901361"},{"product_id":"fuck-around-find-out-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"Fuck around \u0026 find out (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome people test the limits, and then they discover the outcome—this pen is for those moments. Whether you’re making a bold statement, embracing humor, or just looking for a no-nonsense way to sign your name, this pen gets the message across loud and clear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFeatures:\u003cbr\u003e • Engraved Message: “Fuck Around \u0026amp; Find Out” – Because actions have consequences.\u003cbr\u003e • Black Ink for Smooth Writing – Perfect for everyday use.\u003cbr\u003e • Stylus Tip for Touchscreens – Keeps your screens clean and smudge-free.\u003cbr\u003e • Clip Attachment – Keep it handy on your notebook, pocket, or bag.\u003cbr\u003e • Click Open\/Close Mechanism – Reliable and easy to use.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhy You’ll Love It:\u003cbr\u003e • Perfect for Bold Personalities – Ideal for those who appreciate sarcasm, humor, and straight-up facts.\u003cbr\u003e • Great Gift for Friends, Coworkers \u0026amp; Bosses – A fun gag gift, office joke, or stocking stuffer.\u003cbr\u003e • Works for Any Occasion – Birthdays, promotions, holidays, or just to remind people where you stand.\u003cbr\u003e • Unique \u0026amp; Fun Desk Accessory – Elevate your stationery game while making a statement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEmbrace humor and confidence with The Carbon Crusader’s products! Order yours now.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"pink","offer_id":44604677718215,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"black","offer_id":44604677750983,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"blue","offer_id":44604677783751,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"orange","offer_id":44604677816519,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"red","offer_id":44604677849287,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"purple","offer_id":44604677882055,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"violet","offer_id":44604677914823,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/AC6FB8A9-EBE7-45DB-BA96-89BEA1FEDD23.jpg?v=1727901684"},{"product_id":"copy-fuck-around-find-out-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"Dare to be mediocre elsewhere(Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003eMake a statement without saying a word. This matte black ballpoint pen with stylus tip features the sharply engraved phrase “DARE TO BE MEDIOCRE ELSEWHERE”—a clear message for underachievers, energy vampires, and anyone who can’t match your standards.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhether you’re a high-level thinker, sarcastic soul, or unapologetic queen of boundaries, this pen says what you’re thinking—with style.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e✨ Features:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMatte black finish with silver detailing\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePrecision-engraved text that won’t fade or rub off\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBallpoint pen with black ink + built-in stylus for touchscreen use\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eComfortable grip for everyday writing\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePackaged for gifting or personal flexing\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e📍 Perfect for:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBoss gifts\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTherapist desks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWriters, creatives \u0026amp; boundary-setters\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCoworker sarcasm\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFeminine energy with bite\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDitch boring pens. This one comes with personality, power, and petty precision.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"pink","offer_id":45177225085127,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"black","offer_id":45177225117895,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"blue","offer_id":45177225150663,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"orange","offer_id":45177225183431,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"red","offer_id":45177225216199,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"purple","offer_id":45177225248967,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"violet","offer_id":45177225281735,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/EC78446A-226D-4A89-B0FD-83B2C1D26F44.png?v=1749074792"},{"product_id":"i-am-made-of-win-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"I am made of win (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eExperience the power of success with the I am made of win pen and stylus! This versatile tool combines a smooth ballpoint pen with a smart phone stylus, perfect for both writing and navigating your device with ease. With a sleek design and a click-open mechanism, this pen is a must-have for anyone on the go. Unleash your inner winner and add this essential tool to your collection today!\u003c\/span\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e✨ Features:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMatte black finish with silver detailing\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePrecision-engraved text that won’t fade or rub off\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBallpoint pen with black ink + built-in stylus for touchscreen use\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eComfortable grip for everyday writing\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePackaged for gifting or personal flexing\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e📍 Perfect for:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBoss gifts\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTherapist desks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWriters, creatives \u0026amp; boundary-setters\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCoworker sarcasm\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFeminine energy with bite\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDitch boring pens. This one comes with personality, power, and petty precision.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"pink","offer_id":45197846380743,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"black","offer_id":45197846413511,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"blue","offer_id":45197846446279,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"orange","offer_id":45197846479047,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"red","offer_id":45197846511815,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"purple","offer_id":45197846544583,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"violet","offer_id":45197846577351,"sku":null,"price":7.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/6B448F46-0EA6-4760-A1E2-3A3391ACB12D.jpg?v=1749730200"},{"product_id":"a-condescending-pen-set-pen-with-smart-phone-stylus","title":"A condescending Pen Set (Pen with Smart Phone Stylus)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd a sharp edge to your desk with this 3-pack of snarky stylus pens. Perfect for anyone who loves sarcasm, sass, and smooth writing, these pens are equal parts stylish and savage.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEach set includes:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003e💗 Ask Me About My God Complex \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003e💜 I Know More Than You\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003e💜 It’s Not Magic, It’s Common Sense \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFeatures:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSmooth black ink with soft-touch matte barrels\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBuilt-in stylus tip for phones \u0026amp; tablets\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSleek metallic trim\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGreat for journaling, work, school, or gifting\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe perfect mix of attitude + practicality\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e✔ Ideal gift for coworkers, friends, students, or anyone with a quick wit\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e✔ Great as office humor, stocking stuffers, or personal desk flair\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWrite bold. Tap smart. Stay snarky.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Carbon Crusader","offers":[{"title":"all black","offer_id":45479109001415,"sku":null,"price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"all red","offer_id":45479109034183,"sku":null,"price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"all blue","offer_id":45479109066951,"sku":null,"price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"all pink","offer_id":45479109099719,"sku":null,"price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"all purple","offer_id":45479109132487,"sku":null,"price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"all violet","offer_id":45479109165255,"sku":null,"price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"all orange","offer_id":45479109198023,"sku":null,"price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"black red blue","offer_id":45479109230791,"sku":null,"price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"pink violet purple","offer_id":45479109263559,"sku":null,"price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"other mix (see notes to seller)","offer_id":45479109296327,"sku":null,"price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0587\/7003\/0791\/files\/DC28EE88-C3BC-498B-8A98-D89FD1E11DDD.png?v=1756416368"}],"url":"https:\/\/www.thecarboncrusader.com\/en-gb\/collections\/pens.oembed?page=3","provider":"The Carbon Crusader","version":"1.0","type":"link"}